Never eat chocolate covered teriyaki before bed
by NeoKenshin
Summary: Apparently Kasumi decided to share her idea of eating chocolate covered teriyaki before bed to everyone. But for some reason...chocolate and teriyaki sauce have a strange effect on dreams. May change from T to M in later chapters.


Naruto: So....why did we let Kasumi talk us into this?

Kasumi: Don't blame me for your weird dreams!

Neokenshin: Besides, you guys need a small break from time to time so here it is. These will be popping up from time to time. And since dreams are just that messed up...who knows what's gonna happen. Plus the rating may go up from T to M depending on just how crazy things get.

Naruto: And of course Kishi owns Naruto and everyone else owns their respective anime.

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Chapter 1: White is so out/Sakura to Vampire???

Part 1

"Ugh…why do I feel like I…not again!" Kasumi sighed in grief as she woke up in a white room. "Ok what did I die of this time?" She looked around and saw a small scroll on a plain white end table. "Ok let's see here…I died of…intense pleasure from…" Kasumi read the last words and didn't know if she should be ashamed or embarrassed. "Eh…guess Sasuke-chan really had it in him. Oh well, might as well go and see where I'm gonna end up."

Kasumi left the empty room and walked through the halls, wondering just how the afterlife can be so bland. Everything was white. It was so bland that she walked into a wall, thinking it was a corridor. After a few hours she finally found the entryway to the Judgment Hall.

"Ah our newest arrival, come in. No need to be nervous." Kasumi walked in and sure enough…there was the Sannin…except huge. "I am Susanoo, god of Balance." The one that looked like Jiraiya saw she was in awe, but something was different. "Um, Kasumi-san? Is everything ok?"

"Is everything here white????" Kasumi said. "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but you guys are gods right?" The trio nodded. "Then if you're really super powered, why the bland white? I mean it makes things really confusing around here."

"Confusing? How do you mean?" asked Amaterasu.

"Just earlier, I saw a little kid apparently looking for the bathroom. Poor kid looked like he'd been holding it for weeks. I mean I know Heaven is probably a real colorful paradise, and Hell is loaded with lots of reds and oranges for the fire effect, but don't you guys get bored of seeing white here all the time?" Kasumi questioned. The three gods looked at each other, and realized she had a very good argument.

"Well, I guess it's because we're always so busy, we just don't have time." Susanoo replied. "I mean we do have lots of souls that come in daily."

"Ok, we gotta make some changes around here. I mean come on! Amaterasu-sama, have you had a chance to look in the mirror! You look like you haven't slept in years!" Kasumi started. "And Tsukuyomi-sama, the pale look is so out! Dude, you need to hit the beach big time."

"Girl, do you know who you are speaking to?" Tsukuyomi was starting to get annoyed, but it seemed that Kasumi wasn't bothered.

"Yeah yeah, look, go take a good month at Konoha Lake. Enjoy the beach, get LOTS of sun and just say screw work!" Kasumi replied. Tsukuyomi just stared until she turned around and snapped back. "I said GO!"

"Ok, ok!" Tsukuyomi replied in haste. "You know Susanoo, I was gonna pull the 'send her to Hell at the last moment' bit, but I couldn't handle her!" After that he vanished in a flash.

"And Amaterasu-sama, you need a good long month at the Suna Desert Spa. Go there, soak in the hot springs, get a full body massage like every day, and for the love of Kami, make sure you request Raoul!" Kasumi said with a slight tingle. "Trust me, that man's fingers can make a god feel like butter!"

"You don't say? Well, I'll definitely enjoy that." Amaterasu said as she suddenly shifted to human size. With a snap of her fingers, she was already in a new beach outfit with sunglasses and a bag. "I'll see you in a month!" And she was then gone in a flash.

"Alright, two down, one to go. Come on Susanoo-sama, we got work to do." Kasumi said as she motioned him. "We are gonna need a LOT of paint…actually I'm thinking we need to find a paint factory or something. Plus we're gonna need lots of furniture, and maybe some greenery in here too."

Kasumi was already off in her own world when Susanoo looked at her like she was crazy. "Where in the world did this one come from?"

About 200 years later….

"Ok, so Amaterasu-sama, you have a wedding to bless at 1:00, Tsukuyomi-sama has that city destruction at 3:30, and Susanoo-sama has that review session with the Shinigami at 4." Kasumi said as she looked over a schedule. Over the years things had changed in a big way. The entire limbo void was no longer white, but now a myriad of colors, almost as if it had been changed into a huge hotel. Kasumi had more souls hired in as assistants to the three gods, and took over as the new chief of staff. "Oh before I forget, how are you three enjoying the new smoothie machine?"

"I have to say, these smoothies are divine!" Amaterasu replied as she sipped her smoothie. The Goddess of the Heavens has taken on a brand new look. She no longer had the tired, overworked look, but was now more refreshed since Kasumi set her on a relaxation program. Her skin now had a more golden glow, befitting of a Goddess, and felt as if millennia of stress were lifted from her. "Well, I'm off. I'll see you guys later! Ciao!"

Tsukuyomi even had a new look as well. No longer was the pale skin a sight, he was now a dark bronze from all of the years of tanning. Kasumi even helped him with a more dark and powerful wardrobe to give him that fierce "God of Hell" look. "Yes, I have to say, Hell has been quite a change. The air of fear is simply delicious."

"Now that's what we're going for. Ok, well I'm gonna have our staff get on those new arrivals and we'll be in good shape." Kasumi said as she overlooked her PDA. "But I keep thinking that something's wrong about all this."

"Oh there is. You're just having one of your twisted dreams again." Susanoo said.

"I what!" Kasumi said before the entire room went black and she was back in her own bedroom.

She looked around to see that she was back in her own room, in her own bed. "Ok, that was seriously messed up!" She then looked over to see the small empty bowl by her bed. "Somebody please tell me why I keep eating chocolate covered teriyaki before bedtime?"

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Part 2

It was another slow day at Konoha Youkai Academy. Sakura sat in class and tried to pay attention to Miss Yugito's lesson in English studies, but it just wasn't that interesting. All she could really think about was going to the movies tonight with Sasuke. Unfortunately…she had not one, not two, but three people that were going to make things difficult.

"So Sasuke-kun, are you ready for our date tonight?" asked Ino. Sakura couldn't understand what that blue haired-big chested succubus was doing. Sasuke promised to take all four of them out to see a new movie. Ino knew that, but for some reason kept trying to put her charms on.

"Ino, you know it's a group thing! Quit trying to take Sasuke all to yourself!" Sakura snapped back as she twiddled with her Rosario. Ino simply replied by sticking out her tongue.

Class ended and everyone couldn't be happier. Since the day was over and they had no club activities, they could all enjoy the day.

"Why do we have to learn stupid English anyway?" Ino complained. "It's not like we're going to be going anywhere that will need it."

"And of course this why you're failing the class." Replied Akemi, the youngest and smartest girl in school. "And what happens when you start doing bad, you come whining to me to help tutor you."

Ino quickly grabbed the little witch in a headlock, "Oh you're just saying that because you're jealous that you don't have a nice sized chest like me."

"I don't think anyone is worried about that Ino." Said Haku as she slurped on her lollipop.

"Whatever, so Sasuke-kun, when are you going to pick me up tonight?" asked Ino. "I wanna know so I can pick out a cute outfit for you."

"I…uh…well…I was thinking we could all meet at the bus stop around 7?" Sasuke said with a false smile.

Ino started beaming with joy, and immediately grabbed Sasuke between her ginormous bosom, "Oh Sasuke-kun you are so wonderful!!!" She nearly had him suffocated before she got hit in the forehead with an Ice Kunai, and hit on top of the head with a giant pan.

"Quit getting ideas." Akemi snapped back as Ino released Sasuke. However due to the groping he received, it did cause him to get a slight nosebleed, which triggered something else.

Sakura's nose twitched at the heavenly scent in the air, "So good!" She turned and stared straight at Sasuke. "Um, Sasuke-kun…is it ok that I…well that is…" She licked her lips as her fangs showed themselves. She was about to grab hold of Sasuke when…

"Oh no, you are NOT going to bite him again!" Ino quickly stuck her foot out to trip Sakura, causing her to fall towards Sasuke. Unfortunately when she did, Sakura didn't land on Sasuke. Instead his hand caught her Rosario, pulling it off. "Oh crap!"

"Um…nice knowing you Ino!" Akemi and Haku quickly backed away and hid. Everyone knew that when Sakura's Rosario was pulled off, she underwent a great transformation. Her body filled out even more and her hair changed from pink to dark silver. The other three girls could feel her radiating demonic aura, an aura that struck fear in any monster at the Academy. They were now staring at Sakura's true vampiric form.

"Why have I been awakened?" her voice was cold and fierce as everyone around her began to tremble. "Sasuke, what is the cause of this problem?"

"Heh uh…well…uh you kinda tripped over Ino's foot and well…here you are?" Sasuke chuckled slightly. Of course Sakura wasn't too happy."

"So I was brought out here for nothing?" Her demonic aura began to enrage. "Ino…"

"Uh…uh…" Ino could barely speak a word before everything just went black.

"KNOW YOUR PLACE!" Sakura delivered a swift kick to Ino, knocking her into the stars. She then went over and picked up the Rosario from Sasuke. "Hopefully this will be the last time that I wake from something so petty. And Sasuke…"

"Uh…yes Sakura-san?" Sasuke stuttered out.

"You know Outer Sakura is quite parched. I advise you let her drink. Otherwise I may have to do it for her…and you know I'm not as gentle." She said with a seductive look in her eye as she attached the Rosario, returning to her pink haired form. Sasuke was able to step in and catch her before she fell. Luckily she wasn't too exhausted.

"Sasuke-kun, what happened?" Sakura asked as she got her bearings back.

"Uh…it's nothing." Sasuke lied. However he forgot the slight trace of blood on his face. It was soon evident when Sakura made her move. "Uh Sakura…."

"Sasuke-kun!!! Cappuchu!!!" And in one swift move Sakura sank her fangs into his neck. For some reason his blood was like pure nectar to her. She could drink and drink and never stop…well if it didn't kill Sasuke. Too bad all good things must come to an end…

"Huh, what, who, where, why?" Sakura quickly shot up, realizing she was in her own bed…with her pillow in her mouth. "Ok this is the last time I listen to Kasumi-chan and eat chocolate covered teriyaki before going to bed! Hey wait…I actually liked that dream!" She quickly picked up her phone and dialed Kasumi's phone number. "Hey Kasumi-chan, got anymore of that chocolate covered teriyaki!!!"

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**Yeah these are just gonna be some shorts that involve the Bijuu Wars cast in some twisted scenes from past chapters, or from various anime/manga/movies/etc. Besides the guys need a small break.**


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